Nov 24, 2020
Love Language
Did you know that there are five different ways that people want to be shown love? This is what you call a love language. People express and receive love through words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The concept of love languages was discovered by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In his book he describes these five unique styles of communicating love and how it can effect relationships.
Chapman also created a test, for those interested in finding out their love language. I took this test and discovered that my top two love languages were quality time and words of affirmation. I can’t say that I was surprised with these results. For me, it is important that I feel wanted and appreciated. I don’t need big gestures or fancy dinners. I really like to just like stay in, watch movies, and eat pizza. In all honesty, I don’t care where I am as long as I’m with my significant others, I’m happy.
“We all may relate to most of these languages, but each of us has one that speaks to us the most,” marriage and family therapist Sunny Motamedi, Psy.D., states. “Discovering you and your partner’s primary love language and speaking that language regularly may [create] a better understanding of each other’s needs and support each other’s growth.”
While knowing your love language is helpful, it can sometimes lead to disagreements between you and your partner. For example, my fiance’s main love language is physical touch, which happens to be my fourth. While we both enjoy quality time, he tends to want to cuddle where I just want to talk. In the early stages of our relationship, our love languages weren’t as big of a deal, as we were still getting to know each other. As our relationship progressed, our needs and wants started to shift. Once we realized what the other needed to feel loved, we had a steadier relationship. I discovered that little gestures like holding my fiance’s hand in public or kissing him at a stoplight made him really happy.
Overall, love languages are a great way to help people get to know you and for you to get to know them. It can help strengthen your relationships. Knowing someone else’s love language shows that you are interested in showing them how much they mean to you. Love languages are a great way to improve communication between those around you, and it’s just an interesting topic to discuss.
